thought of the day: new mercies

so we are coming to the end of another year.

this past one has been... a delight. normal feels good. there is thankfulness for the hilltops & for the valleys - the valley moments give opportunity for sweet gratefulness. my hope is wild - and that pretty much feels like my own little miracle.

life isn’t conquered in a moment. it begins & ends and begins again. i think we have to have patience with ourselves, & with the process...

from a young age, i had a deep awe & reverence for my life & what it cost. looking back, as a kid, i would have never said it like that. then, i was just so curious about the world around me. i was incredibly loyal to the way life needed to unfold. an old soul at the age of 5. i endured the "being a little different", unaware at the time that it was the artist taking shape in me. i remember many afternoons after grade school filled with reading, drawing & dreaming.

creativity filled a significant part of shaping my ideals. as a young girl, i just somehow knew i was niaive & that life would unfold in due course. i knew that i didn't know. it's pretty embarrassing to admit that, but it's really just how it happened for me.

i came to florida & became a newer & deeper version of myself, my weaknesses were challenges and i grew as a person. i would have never guessed i would have moved there. west palm beach was opposite of so much of what i knew of the northeast. here in florida, i have had what seems like 3 lives.

i had the life i made when i first came down here. i had to work a lot for my job & i was super transient, traveling back to philadelphia very frequently. i would take really long walks along the intercoastal & all over palm beach. i wrote a lot. i kept all my deep rapports alive & well back north. slowly though, life began to bifurcate & i knew if florida was going to be a true life experience, i was going to have to engage in it. so i stopped flying to PA & began to not just show up, but engage in the sofla world around me.

and so part 2 commences. i drove all around finding little spots that i made my own. restaurants, parks, museums, little nooks... i could write a book on sofla's best kept secrets! soon, through a volunteer effort, i met a gent & we dated for nearly 4 years. it was a full & intense middle part of my florida story. i continued my long walks & those soulful times deepened as i pounded the pavement.

when we went our separate ways, the 3rd part of my florida life began. perspective & freedom. it has been the most beautiful, formidable part of the story. that dating relationship should not have gone past 6 months lest some major themes changed. the aftermath proved the glass house and i earned valuable lessons.  my walks have become a dear part of my day, particularly at dusk. that glowy light unravels me & i feel recharged. i hit a bit of a stride. i suppose serendipity can come out of the margin.  i am experiencing that.

i think i am probably still pretty naive. but i now know i am stronger than i thought.

sometimes we have to get a little lost on the way to being truly found. and that happens over & over again throughout the course of one's life. how any story will unravel is unknown, but the point is the way it is weaved together.

with childlike wonder we must trust in all that we can't see & believe that in humble participation & honest patience we will experience all that has intended.

be of good courage.

new discoveries are new mercies. they teach us to relish in the unknown...