reflections

i sat on my couch in my apartment.  blanket draped over me. music is playing. i look around & i lay my head back a little and i smile. i sigh. then my eyes fill up with the biggest tear drops. they feel like gum balls on my eye lids as i glance around an apartment where so much life has happened, so fully excited for the future, so fully aware of what it took to get to this place. 

with a resolute but quivering lip, i lift my head up knowing that life will ebb & tide as it must in order to move & grow. like the nerdy sap that i am, i sit for a while with a knowing smile.

i finally get up & i start humming/singing (poorly!) & kind of skipping about as i do the dishes. tonight i have on good socks that slide quite well on tile. candles are flickering & there is the sound of cars rushing up the street from 8 floors below. it's february in west palm beach, so the breeze is nice. i walk out onto the balcony & the wind whips up my long hair. i look out at the lights and just take it in. ahh. not a moment has been wasted. 

i pad back inside & in a scatterbrained moment think, geez this candle smells Uhhhmazing, i wonder where i picked it up?? 

katherine jenkins' version of hallelujah starts playing off of my exceptionally random playlist & i begin wondering what it would be like if i Could Really carry a tune. i giggle, realizing why this place is so meaningful to me. happy and free little nights like this. :)